i'm starting to write again.
but decided to take it to here.
Posted at 09:41 pm by
abby
Did you?
all good things must come to an end
its been a couple of weeks since my problems started.
i suppose you can say this is my first breakup from a proper serious relationship (like what the heck is that?)
but that aside, i have somehow come to feel that much as i kind of started this blog again when i got together with him, perhaps now is the time i should end it, just as how the relationship has come to an end.
i no longer have anything to blog about, my mind being empty day after day.
i force myself to work, efficiently, inefficiently i don't care.
i can fag a hardpack in 2 days and i don't care.
i can stop eating and just fag and it doesn't matter much to me either.
my chin has kind of poked out from having no appetite all the time.
and when i do eat, it only when my hands start shaking and i cannot breathe properly.
even then, the food is tasteless, unappealing and i just eat for the sake of eating.
it is ok for me to get down, but i know that i cannot stay down.
i need to get out of this.
but it is so hard.
so hard to give up all your dreams of a fantastic life together.
but they are all shattered dreams now and shattered dreams they will stay.
i am stupid for feeling like this, for crying when crying doesn't solve problems.
suddenly with everything and everyone leaving me, i feel left alone, left behind.
but that is just selfish thoughts of me.
like a customer whom i am very close with said, "it is time to renew your stock" (read: time to renew your circle of friends and acquaintances.) how right.
yet all things are always easier said than done.
i am not lost now, i am just stuck in my own trap, in my own hole and i am not sure if i cannot climb out of it, or i just don't want to.
so perhaps when i am happy again, i will start to talk about more cheerful things or perhaps not.
i suppose that for now, this will be the end.
Posted at 08:12 pm by
abby
Did you?
